How can a wife submit to her husband

Women are not commanded to submit to their husbands because God ensures that men will be just or loving. When a woman submits unto her husband, she is actually submitting unto God Ephesians A woman, therefore, does not submit because her husband deserves it in his own merit- she submits because she knows it is pleasing to her Lord. There will be times when a woman needs to submit, and her husband does not deserve it from a human perspective.

But by divine right, God set the man as the leader and a woman can trust that God is good. When a wife submits to her husband, she does not try to take leadership from him. From the beginning of time, the woman has tried to take leadership from the man- and man has often gladly given it away Genesis 3. Women use many tactics to try taking control of leadership, including nagging, deception, and manipulation.

This always results in sin and often, sorrowful consequences Genesis However, a submissive wife is not relegated to idly sitting by while her husband makes all the family decisions.

In a healthy marriage, husband and wife work as a team. When a decision cannot be jointly agreed upon, the leader makes it, knowing he is responsible foremost unto God for that decision. In these circumstances, or in a decision that the husband must make alone, a submissive wife is not overstepping her boundaries by offering counsel.

Biblical submission need not mean silent passivity. But she must learn to do it in a way that shows respect for his God-given position as head of the family. Some women are not satisfied with this. They want to be in charge. But realistically, marriage cannot work this way.

Unity requires a relational structure. We see this pattern in other relationships. But submission is never a sign of value. Jesus submitted to the will of His Father Matthew It would be heresy to say that Jesus is of lesser value than the Father. They are One, and Jesus cannot be of lesser value. Hence people who are suppose to have sex do not, and people who are not suppose to have sex are, we have given satan lead way to deceive people.

I read a lot of comments from men saying the wife never initiates, says no more times than yes and avoid foreplay, kissing and only want missionary when they do give in. This is hard to admit. I was like this with my 1st husband. I actually figured out to pretend to enjoy the act with him because it was over a lot faster if he thought I was excited by him.

I got to the point where I could get him off in under a minute. Having him last for 30 seconds or less was even better and because of that I let him have me often. Due to this he has a memory of our marriage as our sexual chemistry being the strongest part of our relationship. He could not be more wrong. He repulsed me!!! He looked 9 months pregnant with triplets when I was the pregnant one.

I quickly lost the baby weight after each kid and even kept myself 5 pounds underwheight as he likes thin petite women. I kept myself attractive for him and he was proud to have a wife who other men found attractive. Though I was always faithful he enjoyed knowing other men wanted me and it made him want me more.

Now why would he not do the same for me? I told him so many times that I took marriage vows before God that I would only be with him for the rest of my life.

I also found myself attracted to other men often. We had plenty of money and actually belonged to three gyms since they were included in our Country Club Memberships. He frequently took me on romantic date nights and weekends away. We got along great and he was my best friend. But after 7 years I could no longer pretend any longer. Hey he was being taken care of and having regular orgasms 3 to 5 days a week within only minutes of us being intimate.

Sometimes it was only 15 seconds before he was satisfied. Fast forward to today. Our intimate life is actually even better 11 years into our relationship because we know how to please each other. I also really enjoy his scent. This is a biggie!!!! Putting them in private Christian school and along with his 3rd wife they go to church every Sunday.

In it I mention I was always short tempered with him. Our you following my gist here??? I loved him and cared about him as a person but really more like a brother.

He was the father of my kids. He took great care of me. I wanted to divorce him so that he could have the chance to find a woman who truly loved him and wanted him sexually.

Now I am not asexual at all. I love a good romp. I literally physically crave my husband. Just writing that has made me warm and tingly. When my current husband touches me or even looks at me my skin gets hot with desire.

With my 1st husband he would make my skin crawl in a bad way. This was not post partem either. Especially if it started lasting longer than a minute. Men us women for the most part enjoy sex as much as you do.

If your wifes not having sex with you it may be as simple as my situation. Love is a choice but attraction is not a choice. It can waver and sometimes come and go. But it never disappears completely and it always comes back.

However it never happened at ALL for me with my 1st husband. I regret letting touch me at all ever to be honest. If you are married and not having mutually satisfying sex I say consider leaving.

I was never sexually pleased! We never had sex before being married, so after that day he thought sex was disgusting and humans should never have sex or intimacy. We did have sex a couple of times then he decided he had enough. I whined and complained and then he moved to the midnight shift at his work and worked long hours, all week ends and holidays, some times he never came home slept in his truck and showered at work. Marriage was horrible, no children, no husband he was just the caretaker of the property and no real husband.

I could have stayed single. I think all men are monsters and want nothing to do with any of them. Married 55 years and has no interest in sex or any thing involving me. We act much like apartment dwellers coming and going. Nice car not new but nice, good clothes, health care, vacations all the things I like. For me I made a terrible mistake, secondly I should have left him and I regret each day.

Now to old to care any more I just do my own thing. Years ago I thought he was gay or had some sweet little thing on the side! That was untrue he had only his work, garage and his lonelyness. I have to respond to what you wrote, as it is the perfect example of the disconnect between the way men and women communicate. After reading your comment, I get it. I really do. But it took ALL of that time and energy out of both your lives for you to just speak directly and honestly with your first husband.

As men, we tend to want direct communication early on. We have to start teaching our young women what men are really wanting — that includes communication, sex, attitude, housework, everything. That way, we can help eliminate some of this false pretense by which people are getting married and we can get back to teaching how serious of a commitment marriage is.

Your situation had 3 possible outcomes, and you chose what I would consider the 3rd option. So much time and hurt could be saved if women really understood why clear and direct communication is just a better way to go, especially in relationships. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Remember me Log in.

Lost your password? Pin Share How he wants it all the time. How you just have to show up naked and bring food. Here are 5 ways to sexually please your husband… 1. Be sexually confident. Do you want your husband sexually? Do you initiate? Enjoy your orgasm and his orgasm. Bring God into the bedroom. Did I just say that? Be sexually playful with your clothes on. Learn some new sexual skills. Copyright , Julie Sibert.

Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized. Want more from Julie? No related posts. February 16, at pm. Terry says: Ok. February 18, at pm. Terry says: Besides social media has plenty of porn what can you do. Adebanjo says: What are the natural ways of dealing with Premature Ejaculation?

February 24, at pm. February 25, at pm. Chance says: I believe there are those who have no desire for it and coming from a 15 year marriage with no sex in the last 9 years, these articles are amazing and eye opening.

March 25, at am. John Gendi says: I having a continuing argument with my wife for the reason of express love in our marriage.

April 7, at pm. April 20, at pm. Lyn says: My husband likes oral sex on him I am a. June 4, at pm. June 23, at am. July 8, at am. T says: A comment referring to Lyn. September 7, at pm. September 17, at pm.

Julie Sibert says: Hello A… I encourage you to go through my lists of past posts to find ones that will be helpful. September 18, at am. Lazaren says: Julie, I am curious in your thoughts on women dressing seductively, i. Thanks, Lazaren. February 4, at am. Julie Sibert says: Lazaren… thank you for your comment! Thanks for commenting! February 4, at pm.

H says: How about just saying yes more than a few times a year…. Larry B says: It is very common for the husband to want to climax from or during oral sex. February 6, at pm. Rhianna says: My hubby loves deep kissing and giving me manual stimulation while I do the same to him as foreplay…. February 21, at pm. Kel says: My wife and I been together for 7 years, 2 of those years married.

March 26, at am. Nancy says: This is such a touchy no pun intended subject. April 15, at pm. April 17, at am. April 21, at pm. Ree says: Thank you. June 25, at pm. CrisCris says: My husband and I have been married for 13 years, together 14 years, and have three wonderful children together. July 1, at am. Fustrated says: My husband has had ED for 2 years now. July 27, at pm. October 9, at am. Carl says: I believe that any spouse who withhold sex willfully will answer to God for this. It would have been better if they never married.

October 20, at pm. October 24, at am. Nishia says: I am not married but will love to be one day, for all married couples you have to make sure you please one another that is the most important thing that is what keeps the relationship going, you have to know what your mate like and dislikes take time to learn that, keep it spicy always ask and make sure ur mate is pleased and just love, love love each other and god of course. As this knitting together occurs your marriage becomes stronger and stronger.

Be a responsible homemaker. One of the greatest conflicts that is constantly brought up in marriage counseling is the resentment that men have toward their wives over their failure to take care of the home.

This is one of the primary responsibilities of a wife according to Scripture. The word homemakers in this passage means to work at caring and managing the home. Just as a husband is to work to provide for his family so a wife is to work at caring for her home. This can be especially challenging when a wife works outside the home.

She must still take care of her responsibilities within the home realizing that her family is her first priority and her job second. In such circumstances it will be necessary for a husband to help his wife with household chores to lessen her burden.

This balancing act of dividing responsibilities and helping one another as servants will be vital to a happy home.

I believe that a reading of Proverbs will give you a clearer understanding of how this balancing act is accomplished. It is important to note that this virtuous wife had interests and activities outside the home, but kept them in the proper order. She was very industrious in her ability to work with her hands, but she first provided food for her household Prov. These references reveal that both keeping your home and working outside the home can be done if your priorities are correct.

It is also important to understand why Solomon trusted his virtuous wife as stated in Proverbs He concluded his description of his wife by praising her spiritual relationship and her reverence for God. She was not only a woman who feared God but was able to correctly balance her responsibilities of the home with all her activities outside the home. Does your husband trust you in this way? Are your priorities in order?

Respect your husband. How do you show this respect? Respecting your husband is first something that must be rendered simply because of his position in the family. He is your head and therefore should be acknowledged as such. For instance, you have no personal knowledge of a policeman that stops you on the highway, but you show respect to this individual. You show respect for the position of authority the policeman holds. Likewise you should do the same for your husband because he is the head of your family.

Your respect will also cause you to defer to him in decision making, cause you to speak respectfully to him in public, and enable you to be encouraging to him in private as you verbally support his leadership. To fail in these areas is to be disrespectful. Now you may be thinking, But, I have a non-Christian or a spiritually carnal man as my husband.

The word fear in this context means to show respect and reverence to your husband. This reverence is shown by your speech and conduct as you submit to his leadership. Are you attempting to win your husband by your respectful conduct? Berating, scolding, and shouting at him will do nothing to encourage his leadership in the home. Rather, listen to his ideas first and then explain yours.

If you truly want to give good counsel to your husband use reason and encouragement as you share your ideas. Speak gently and respectfully without demanding or commanding him. Remember, it is not unsubmissive to disagree or voice your opinion, just do it in a respectful way. Meet his sexual needs. Many times in marriage counseling I have found that wives attempt to control and manipulate their husbands by withholding sexual relations. I have seen some wives use sex in such a way as to control their husbands in order that they can become the head of their homes.

This reasoning and behavior is unchristian and unbiblical. If you use sex in this manner you have taken what God intended to be an expression of love and affection and made it a weapon of control. Behavior like this will only cause your husband to lose respect for you and will drive him away. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Sex is to be a means of expressing the affection that is in your heart and the love that is due your husband.

Do you realize that you do not have the right to refuse your husband access to your body? You gave him the right to your body the day you got married. Husbands and wives can only refuse one another when the other spouse consents or agrees to the refusal.

This is the meaning of the word consent in this passage, which means agreement. Therefore, you must find an agreement over this very intimate issue. In addition, Paul warns that if you deny your husband sexually you are actually exposing him to greater temptation by Satan.

How can you address this issue? Love will always find an agreement on frequency of sexual relations. Note that Paul taught in the above passage that husbands and wives could not dictate to each other but must find a loving compromise. If you truly love each other you will always find a way to give - which is always the solution.